Disconnected

Disconnected

By Candace Shultz

My heart grows distant.

You're far away.

I try to move closer,

But you won't stay.

The farther you go,

The less I try

Because what's the point

When it's always goodbye?

* Written on February 18, 2015

Bleak Gray Sky

Here is the poem I wrote for Day 26 of NaPoWriMo.

Bleak Gray Sky

As I walk under a bleak gray sky,
The rain drops on me one by one.
I wait for the heavens
To pour their wrath on my skin
And drench me to the core.
The cold seeps into my bones.
There's nowhere to go but forward.
There's nowhere to hide.
My only hope is to walk quickly
And pray for a ray of light
To break through the clouds
And spread its warmth
Until the gray sky turns blue
And the sun shines once again.

Kill a Spider

For Day 25 of NaPoWriMo we were prompted to write a poem that begins with a line from another poem, but then go somewhere completely different with it. I chose Kato Shuson's haiku (I found her poem here):

I kill an ant
and realize my three children
have been watching.

Instead of beginning my poem with her line though, I chose to reword it and create my own troiku. You can find more information about the form of troiku here.


Kill a Spider

I kill a spider
and realize my daughter
watched me the whole time

I kill a spider
its small body squashed under
my size-seven shoes

and realize my daughter
later kills a ladybug
no care in the world

watched me the whole time
but does not understand that
it's not coming back

Kitten

I decided to write a cinquain for Day 24 of NaPoWriMo. I followed Cinquain Form #2 from this website where you write five lines of poetry: the first line is one word; the second is two adjectives; the third is three -ing- words; the fourth is a complete sentence of at least 4 words; and the last line is one word, often a synonym of the first line.

~ ~ ~

Kitten

Kitten

Soft, cuddly

Playing, purring, napping

My daughter wants one

Cat

Discouraged

I've been feeling a bit discouraged this month because I haven't been able to keep up with writing a poem every day. So for Day 23 of NaPoWriMo, I'm sharing this poem I wrote that expresses those feelings.

Discouraged

I'm behind again,

Never catching up.

The road before me 

Keeps stretching,

My destination 

A speck in the distance.

My mind keeps wandering:

A rainbow catches my eye.

The colorful flowers distract me.

A baby cries, 

And I look for him.

A little girl giggles, 

And I must know why.

I look behind me to see 

The road has changed,

No longer straight. 

It curves and bends,

Changed by my choices, 

Diverted from distractions.

I look forward again. 

The end of the road

Seems so far away. 

How will I ever get there?

A Yellow Flower

For Day 22 of NaPoWriMo, we were prompted to write a poem in honor of Earth Day. Though my poem isn't exactly in honor of the Earth, it does involve a yellow flower. 

A Yellow Flower

She runs up the hill,
her long blonde hair
flowing behind her.
She bends down
to look at the flowers.
She picks one,
and runs back down.
She holds out her hand
to me and shows me
a single yellow flower.
So small. So delicate.
She gives it to me,
then runs back up the hill,
leaving me with a tiny
yellow flower and a smile.

My Daughter

For Day 21 of NaPoWriMo I decided to write another kenning poem. 

My Daughter

Book reader
Dragon rider
Ghost buster
Under-blanket hider

Roller skater
Bird chaser
Tantrum thrower
Everything racer

Pony lover
Story writer
Puzzle solver
Nail biter

Answer seeker
Dress wearer
Joke teller
Toy sharer

Always wants to be tickled
My daughter

My Son

For Day 20 of NaPoWriMo, we were prompted to write a kenning poem.

My Son

Bottomless eater
Shirt biter
Bottle refuser
Nap fighter

Breast lover
Night waker
Table smacker
Eardrum breaker

Hair puller
Crib thumper
Floor wiggler
Toy dumper

Bath splasher
Smile flasher
Pterodactyl shrieker
Attention seeker

Full of laughter
My son

It's a Little Cheeseburger

For Day 19 of NaPoWriMo, the prompt asked us to write a “how to” poem. I wrote a poem on how to get your young child to eat steak.

It's a Little Cheeseburger

We're tired of chicken nuggets.
I don't want mac and cheese.
Let's do something different.
How about a juicy steak, please?
We'll eat it with broccoli and potatoes.
You'll try at least one of those.

Daddy starts making our dinner;
delicious smells waft to my nose.
Finally, we place the meal before you,
and sit down to eat our food.
You look at the steak on your plate
and with a huff of attitude,
you declare that you don't want it,
but you agree to eat the broccoli.
You like the way the veggie looks
because it reminds you of a tree.

You eat all of your broccoli,
then you look at your potatoes.
Daddy asks you to try it,
but you just wrinkle your nose.
"Try it, and you might like it!"
I sing a little song,
hoping music from your favorite show
will convince you to go along.
You try it after a minute of cajoling
and Daddy agrees to feed you with a spoon,
but a few bites later you push it away.
Your meal has ended way too soon.

So we try to get you to eat the steak
with silly songs and promises of dessert.
We offer to feed you little bites,
but still your head remains avert.
"It's a little cheeseburger,"
Daddy finally says to you.
You look at him and smile,
and then what do you do?
You open your mouth for a bite.
You chew and swallow the steak.
Then once you eat it all,
you immediately ask for cake.

So if you want your child
to eat a juicy steak,
tell her it's a little cheeseburger.
You might save yourself a headache.

Schuylkill County Childhood

I followed the prompt for Day 18 of NaPoWriMo to write a poem that involves “the sound of home.”

Schuylkill County Childhood

I live so far from my childhood home.
I miss the taste of sweet sauce pizza
on the days we could afford to buy it.
I miss the crisp Ellios pizza baking
in the oven on any other normal day.

I miss the delicious taste of WaWa

lemonade iced tea, though my brother

would tell you he'd much prefer Guers,

and the crinkle of a bag of Snyder's

BBQ chips or the delicious flavor

of the chocolate peanut butter Tastycake.

I remember walking through the woods

and exploring abandoned coal mines

(or just the cold entrances, in my case)

until boards blocked them off for safety.

I remember treading the path of many

before me and walking across the ruins

of what I imagined to be a castle from long ago.

I remember riding on my stepfather's quad

next to the crick and through the trees,

up tall hills of tiny rocks, some so tall

that the quad would strain to reach the top.

I played outside in the leaves and the snow,

in the rocks and the grass, no parent in sight.

We'd walk to the candy shop and use

our pennies to buy little candies.

In the summer, we'd run up the path

leading to the next town, wearing our

circle medals on our bracelets, eagerly

waiting to go swimming in the pool.

Sometimes Mom would buy us a soda

or drive to Rita's for an Italian Ice.

Now I've grown up, and I've moved away,

but I'll always be a Coal Cracker.

I'll ask for dippy eggs and pierogies.

Sometimes I'll say youze and bolth.

I'll forever remember block parties

and coal candy and riding on the Phoenix

rollercoaster or the Sklooosh at Knoebels.

I can pronounce Mahanoy, Shenandoah,

and Nesquehoning, and I've seen the

abandoned coal town of Centralia.

These are the places I knew as a child,

These are the memories I'll hold 'til I'm old.

NaPoWriMo Day 17

A little hand, sticky
and speckled with the crumbs
of cinnamon maple crunchies,
reaches to touch my face,
and I let him. I kiss his tiny
fingers and put my forehead to his.
He touches my cheek and
chuckles every time I lean
my head closer, looking
into his brown eyes. He smiles
when I smile. I laugh when
he laughs. He screeches
and I give him another crunchy.

In the Dark of the Night

For Day 16 of NaPoWriMo, I chose to do a blackout poem. I picked page 708 from the story The Last Battle in the book The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. 

I then picked words from the page I wanted to use for my poem and blacked out the rest of the page I didn't need.

This is how I would write and format my poem:

In the Dark of the Night

The darkness is silent,

still,

and sad

with no comfort.

Nothing.

Stop and listen.

Thump-thump.

Slap!

It was the coldest hour of the night.

Mirrored Image

For Day 15 of NaPoWriMo, we were prompted to write a poem involving doubles. I decided to incorporate that theme into my poem by writing about a girl looking into a mirror.

Mirrored Image

I look at her in the mirror:
Her hair is long and brown.
Her eyes are wide with long lashes.
Her lips are pink and full.
Her stomach is lumpy.
Her sides have a lot of pudge.
Her thighs are wide.
Her legs are long and strong.
Her feet are rough and cracked.
Her body is dimpled with dots.
Her body is flawed.
She is beautiful.
She is me.

Fluttering Leaf

I am a week behind in writing my NaPoWriMo poems, so today I'll be catching up. For Day 14 of NaPoWriMo, I wrote a haiku.

Fluttering Leaf

Blown by a soft breeze,

a leaf fluttered through the grass

like a butterfly.

Fortune Cookie Madness

For NaPoWriMo Day 13, I followed the prompt and wrote a poem inspired by fortune cookies. I used the website http://www.myfortunecookie.co.uk/ to randomly generate fortunes since I don't have any fortune cookies at home. I just kept clicking and collecting fortunes until I finally came up with today's poem.

~ ~ ~

Fortune Cookie Madness

"Expand your horizons,"
my fortune cookie said.

"Where should I go?" I joked,
"I guess not back to my bed."

"This is the time for caution,
but not for fear," another fortune read.

Perhaps I need to change myself,
my thoughts filled with dread.

"Conquer your fears, or they will
conquer you," yet another fortune replied.

"Can you read my mind?" I asked.
I resisted opening another; I really tried.

"Don't let your mind wander - it's too little
to be out alone" were the written words.

Did it just make fun of me?
I huffed, ready to cross swords.

"Your greatest fortune is the friends
and family you have" is all it said to me.

"True, but don't change the subject!"
I yelled as I broke open another cookie.

"Every solution breeds new problems,"
retorted another piece of paper.

"What does that mean?" I asked,
ready to crush the fortune into vapor.

"A lifetime isn't nearly long enough
to figure out what it's all about," it replied.

Did it just say I'm stupid?
This insult I would not brush aside.

My cheeks red and eyes flashing,
I ripped open the last fortune cookie,

"Take a rest; you deserve it,"
the only words I could see.

I sat back in my chair and stared
at the pile of broken cookies
and little papers strewn everywhere.
Maybe I'm going crazy, I thought,
then followed its advice and lay down my head.

Too Drunk to Get a Shower

For Day 12 of NaPoWriMo I wrote an index poem. I let my husband choose the book I'd use to write a poem based on words from its index. He chose the book How to Brew: Everything you need to know to brew beer right the first time by John J. Palmer. I think I groaned out loud when he gave me that book, but I was determined to meet his challenge. I went through the index and picked out lines here and there, then formed a poem from those words. I did change some punctuation at the end of the lines to fit my poem better. I have to say that I enjoyed this prompt even if I don't enjoy beer.

~ ~ ~

Too Drunk to Get a Shower

mold,

odors,

yeasty,

skunky,

sweaty/goaty

body, increasing

flavor, changing

from bacteria,

lack of

water,

sterilizing,

sanitization and sanitizing,

wild

by-products of

Three Weisse Guys

drinking beer

Walking Home

This is my poem for NaPoWriMo Day 11. You can read the prompt here. 

~ ~ ~

Walking Home

The pigeons coo high above me in their trees

As the tweets of other birds sing along joyfully.

A car engine purrs in the street to my left

As I walk with my baby on the sidewalk.

The stroller wheels creak against the ground,

And my boots slide along the warm pavement.

The sun shines warmly on my skin and in my eyes,

Though my sunglasses shade me from the harsh glare.

I see my house around the curve of the road.

I'm almost home, but I want to stay outside

Because, in this moment, I am at peace.

Pebble in the Sky

I had a lot of fun with the prompt for Day 10 of NaPoWriMo: writing a "book spine" poem. I looked at my bookshelves and chose books with titles I thought would go well together. I then rearranged them to tell a story in my poem.

Pebble in the Sky

I am more than a carpenter.

I used to be the Once and Future King,

and I had many interesting times,

but my pride and prejudice got in the way,

and now I live in a city of bones.

The girl from the well brought nightmares

and a bag of bones to my city.

She was the girl who loved Tom Gordon.

But it was all just smoke and mirrors.

With the hammer of God, Prince Lestat took over,

And now I'm just a stranger in a strange land,

Merely a pebble in the sky.

My Fears

For Day 9 of NaPoWriMo, the prompt challenged us to include a line in our poem that we were afraid to write. It turns out I wrote more than one line I've been afraid to write and admit out loud.

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My Fears

I am lost.

In a world full of people going places,

I am standing still.

In a place where everyone
seems to know what they want,

I am blank.

When it appears other moms
have time to take care of their kids
and take care of themselves too,

I am a mess.

When it looks like all the people
around me have close friends
they can really talk to,

I am alone.

And I am afraid.

I'm afraid to be alone without friends to support me.
I'm afraid to lose myself in my children
and that I'm not raising them well enough.
I'm afraid I won't find my calling, my passion,
and that I won't feel fulfilled outside of the home.
I'm afraid that I'll be lost in the dark forever,
stumbling, never finding solid ground.

Rose

Day 8 of NaPoWriMo prompts us to write about flowers. 

Rose

Soft red petals that crinkle like paper,

Green leaves that will never fade,

Sharp thorns that will never draw blood,

A long green stem made of hard plastic:

My rose will last forever

Like the love I have for my daughter

Who gave me such a beautiful gift.

Will I Belong?

For Day 7 of NaPoWriMo, I wrote a tritina: a poem with three stanzas each with three lines and a final line. The rhyme scheme is ABC, CAB, BCA. There are three "end" words at the end of the lines of each stanza that also appear in the final line. For a better description, you can see the prompt at http://www.napowrimo.net/day-seven-3/.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Will I Belong?

We pack our things and move away

to unknown places and strange faces,

worried if we will ever belong.

Will it take ten long months to belong

like last time? Will other people turn away

like strangers passing by with blank faces?

I could put on many different faces

to different people hoping I'll belong

to their fold and not be sent away,

but then I'd be away because I don't belong to those faces.

Savor a Snickers

The NaPoWriMo prompt for Day 6 was to write about food, so I wrote about Snickers, which I happened to be eating while writing my poem.

Savor a Snickers

He brought me a Snickers home.
That seems such a minor thing.
But with a baby screaming for his dinner,
His unwanted squash all over my shirt,
And another child running back and forth
Like her life depended on never stopping
While yelling at me to keep watching,
Well, I needed that Snickers.
I needed to let the chocolate melt in my mouth,
To hear the peanuts crunching in my teeth,
To taste the salty sweetness on my tongue.
I needed to be alone with my chocolate.
I wanted to take that Snickers and run
And hide so I didn't have to share with little hands.
No, bringing home chocolate was not a minor thing.
My sanity saved, I savored the Snickers upstairs
And let the kids run wild with their Daddy downstairs.

Tigerlily

Soft and majestic,

your orange spotted petals

flourish in a ditch. 

~ ~ ~ 

Today's haiku is inspired by the prompt for NaPoWriMo Day 5: "Today, I challenge you to spend some time looking at the names of heirloom plants, and write a poem that takes its inspiration from, or incorporates the name of, one or more of these garden rarities." I didn't exactly follow the prompt, but it inspired me to write something about my favorite flower, the tigerlily.

January Blues

For Day 4 of NaPoWrimo, I followed the prompt to write a poem about what I think is the cruelest month and why.

January Blues

It's after Christmas, and the New Year has settled in.
The days are short. The nights are long.
The cold seeps into my bones.
I shiver. I shake. My muscles ache.
And my heart isn't far behind.
I feel lonely and trapped inside these walls,
Too cold to want to go outside,
Too tired to try to socialize,
Too sad to make an effort.
There's no sun to give me warmth.
It's trapped behind the clouds.
The snow doesn't fall here often,
So I miss building snowmen
And snowball fights and sled riding.
I'm a loner in the winter months,
Preferring to stay inside under heavy blankets
Rather than taking walks with friends
Even though being alone makes me sad.
January is a cruel month.

A Good Night's Rest

I've fallen a little behind on NaPoWrimo, so I'll be posting 3 poems today. For Day 3 of NaPoWriMo, I went off prompt and wrote a poem about sleep deprivation.

A Good Night's Rest

I just need a good night's rest.
No more crying. No more screaming.
No more "I wet the bed."
No more night time feedings.
No more diaper changes,
Especially the ones with poop.
No more "I need water"
When you can reach it yourself.
No more asking for stuffies on the floor.
Seriously, get it yourself.
No more crawling in my bed at night.
No more waking me up at 2 am
And 3 am and every hour after.
No more cute wide-awake smiles
And wanting to play in the dark.
I just need a good night's rest.
Please go back to sleep.

Family Portrait

Here is my poem from Day 2 of NaPoWriMo. I followed the prompt to write a poem in the form of a family portrait.

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Family Portrait

Gray eyes like the calm after a storm,
Arms full of strength and comfort,
A goofy smile and kind heart,
A loving father of two:
My husband brings laughter and peace to my world.

Gray eyes and a face like her father's;
Bright blonde hair, an angel by sight
Though full of mischief and a stubborn will;
Full of questions, of why's and how's;
Playful and curious and kind and smart:
My daughter brings wonder and light.

Light brown hair and brown eyes like mine,
A giggle that brightens our days,
A voice that refuses to be ignored,
A not-so-good sleeper with a strong will of his own,
Hair puller, toy thrower, and slobbery kisser:
My son brings joy and sleepless nights.

Brown hair, brown eyes, big heart.
Always cleaning. Sometimes singing.
Wipes away tears and boogers and dirt.
Answers questions. Tickles feet.
Feeds others before she can eat.
Plays and holds and hugs and kisses.
Folds clothes, washes dishes, and brushes teeth.
Reads books and colors and cuddles.
Usually tired, sometimes grumpy, but still happy.
Just trying not to screw things up:
I bring love and unity to our beautiful mess.

NaPoWriMo 2016

NaPoWriMo 2016 begins! I'm following NaPoWriMo.net for the daily prompts. Today I'm writing a lune, a poem with three lines having a 5-3-5 syllable count.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A little girl asks

her mother.

Will you play with me?

My Bucket List

In high school I wrote a bucket list of dreams, things I wanted to accomplish before I even hit 30. Well, I don't remember where that list went, so it's time to make a new bucket list, especially since The Daily Post prompt for January 3rd asks what the 11th item is on my bucket list. Life turned out a bit different than I imagined anyway.

My Bucket List

1. Get my driver's license. My test is in two days, so hopefully I'll be marking that off my list very soon.
2. Visit Dublin, Ireland. 
3. Visit Paris, France.
4. Write a novel during NaNoWriMo.
5. Visit Rome, Italy.
6. Adopt a child.
7. Write a second children's story (I already have the plot in mind.).
8. Go on a cruise.
9. Touch a tiger (a lion, leopard, cheetah, or other big cat will do).
10. Visit Greece.
11. Renew my wedding vows on our 10th anniversary.
12. Live long enough to meet my grandchildren and great grandchildren. 
13. Take my mom on vacation to a destination she's always wanted to visit. I'd take her on a cruise, but she refuses to stay on the boat once it starts moving.
14. Finish my scrapbooks I've already started. I think I have 5 or 6 just waiting for me in my dining room.
15. Learn how to crochet.
16. Learn how to knit.
17. Might as well learn how to sew.
18. Make a positive difference in someone's life.
19. Raise my children to be good people.
20. Teach God's love to my children.

It's actually harder than I thought to make a bucket list. I'm just writing these goals as they pop in my head. I think 20 goals is a good start. Obviously some of these goals are going to take a while. As I get older I'll probably have more to add to this list, so I'm going to write out my list and put it somewhere I can see to remind myself to make the effort to achieve these goals.

At the Stroke of Midnight

My sister-in-law shared an Ebook of 365 writing prompts on The Daily Post website that she found. The prompt for January 1st asks where we were when the clock struck midnight on the New Year and if that's where we wanted to be. 

- - - - - - - - - - - 

I sat in my rocking chair, rocking my son to sleep as he soothed at my breast. My husband walked into the nursery and stood in front of me staring at his watch.

"3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . Happy New Year!" He whispered to me.

"Happy New Year," I whispered back, trying not to wake our son. My husband then reached down to cradle our son in his arms. The baby whimpered a little bit, but he settled down in the warmth of his daddy's arms. I watched as my husband put him in his crib and waited expectantly for the cries to start.

3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . And the cries began. Our son would not sleep in his crib, hadn't for the last two weeks. The minute his body touched the crib, he'd wake up and wail until we picked him up again. Two weeks of struggling to get him to sleep in his crib had taken its toll on me. I was just exhausted.

I left the room to brush my teeth, letting my husband try to get our son to fall back asleep in his crib. I came back to get a New Year kiss. Then I settled into my bed, pulled the covers up, and played a game on my tablet for a few minutes before finally deciding to go to sleep. At that point, I didn't care if my son was still awake. I knew my husband could handle it. He would be awake for a few more hours anyway because of his work schedule. Within minutes I was fast asleep, so tired that I didn't even wake when my daughter crawled into my bed and cuddled with me at 2 am (so my husband told me later). Though I did wake up at 5 am to feed a hungry baby.

Copycat Baby

I am so excited to announce that my children's book Copycat Baby has been published on Amazon. You can find it here.

Copycat Baby is about a baby who acts like her pet cat. My daughter inspired me to write it. I originally wrote it as a poem over two years ago, which you can see here, but I decided to edit the poem and turn it into a children's book.